Thoughts and Theories

Is God enough for me?

He is asking me this over and over: “Am I enough for you?”  I stumble and hesitate to respond, because if I say yes, does that mean He won’t grant my heart's desires?  Does that mean that He’ll take away everything that I hold dear in my heart? 

 

But then I realize, maybe He isn’t enough for me if I am still clinging onto these things that I think will provide me with ultimate fulfillment.  That question scares me because it forces me to stare into the depth of my soul.  Are there idols in my heart that still need to be broken and disposed of?  I shutter to think of what I may find.

 

This question haunts me.  But then suddenly a ray of light and revelation appears.  I realize that He must be enough for me.  If I look to anything else that I think could ever provide me with all I need then I commit myself to a life of madness.  Am I looking to material things or faulty sinful human beings to provide me with purpose, importance, meaning, love, satisfaction and value?  How crazy is that?  How could anyone and anything in this world ever be able to fill this vacuous hole in my heart?  It’s impossible. 

 

God is asking me this over and over because he wants me to see that only He can give me true joy, true fulfillment, true satisfaction.   It’s Him that is only able to heal my broken heart; love me like no other; know me in the way that I want to be known; elevate me and tell me that I’m important and that I matter.  It’s in Him where all the answers lie to all my questions.  It’s in Him that will set me free and loose all my chains so that I can be who I was meant to be.   Yes, indeed – He is most definitely enough.  My heart can stop searching because I’ve found what I’m looking for. 

 

Thank-you Father, that you are all I need for this life. 

 

Psalm 73

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 ²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

Simply a child

Achild

I realize that in this lifetime there are many roles that I will play and roles that I am required to fulfill.  Right now I am a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend.  I am a social worker, a co-worker and an aunt to two beautiful, rambunctious nephews.   And one day, I know that I will be a mother; then perhaps down-the-road, a grand-mother.  I love being all of these things and cherish many of these roles that I have been privy to fulfill.  Becoming a mother is one role that I am anxiously waiting to step into.  Many of you, who know me well, know this about me; becoming a mother is a dream and desire that I am still waiting upon.

 

Regardless of this, what I realize today is that before I was any one of these things and before I become anyone else, what lies underneath all of these external roles is the internal role of me simply being a child – a child of the most high God.  Before I can be any of these things and become a person of influence in every role that God has bestowed upon me, I must first and foremost learn how to be a child.  One who is fully and completely obedient to Him.  I realize today that I must be this before I can even think about being that.  I will never step into the fullness of any of these roles if I am not first and foremost a child.  I will never be able impact influence in any of these roles and the future roles that God has in store for me if I am not a daughter of God first.  A child who is completely satisfied with being one; a kid who rests all her significance and identity in knowing that the supreme God of the universe is her parent; a child who doesn’t place pressure or try to extract a sense of significance from any of these other roles because she already has everything she needs in being this one thing.  All other roles must flow out of this one role - this one, all important, foundational role that I am now, have always been and will always be for eternity.

 

Thank-you Lord that all you expect from me is to be a trusting, obedient child who trusts in her Father always and forever because she loves Him with all her soul, mind and spirit. 

 

Matthew 18

 ²He called a little child and had him stand among them. ³And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven

 

 

Deuteronomy 10:

¹² And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, ¹³ and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? 

1 John 3:

¹How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

 

The trial of your faith

I had dinner with my pastors today.  They shared the following passage by Charles Spurgeon with me as we drank wine and talked about life, God, suffering and the meaninglessness of golf.  This is one of the most beautiful expressions ever written about faith.  Thank-you Dan and Sue for being an example of such unshakeable faith. 

Please read it.  It's awesome.

 

“The trial of your faith.”

Faith untried may be true faith, but it is sure to be little faith, and it is likely to remain dwarfish so long as it is without trials. Faith never prospers so well as when all things are against her: tempests are her trainers, and lightnings are her illuminators. When a calm reigns on the sea, spread the sails as you will, the ship moves not to its harbour; for on a slumbering ocean the keel sleeps too. Let the winds rush howling forth, and let the waters lift up themselves, then, though the vessel may rock, and her deck may be washed with waves, and her mast may creak under the pressure of the full and swelling sail, it is then that she makes headway towards her desired haven. No flowers wear so lovely a blue as those which grow at the foot of the frozen glacier; no stars gleam so brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky; no water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand; and no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs in adversity. Tried faith brings experience. You could not have believed your own weakness had you not been compelled to pass through the rivers; and you would never have known God’s strength had you not been supported amid the water-floods. Faith increases in solidity, assurance, and intensity, the more it is exercised with tribulation. Faith is precious, and its trial is precious too.

Let not this, however, discourage those who are young in faith. You will have trials enough without seeking them: the full portion will be measured out to you in due season. Meanwhile, if you cannot yet claim the result of long experience, thank God for what grace you have; praise him for that degree of holy confidence whereunto you have attained: walk according to that rule, and you shall yet have more and more of the blessing of God, till your faith shall remove mountains and conquer impossibilities.

The trial of your faith

I had dinner with my pastors today.  They shared the following passage by Charles Spurgeon with me as we drank wine and talked about life, God, suffering and the meaninglessness of golf.  This is one of the most beautiful expressions ever written about faith.  Thank-you Dan and Sue for being an example of such unshakeable faith. 

Please read it.  It's awesome.

 

“The trial of your faith.”

Faith untried may be true faith, but it is sure to be little faith, and it is likely to remain dwarfish so long as it is without trials. Faith never prospers so well as when all things are against her: tempests are her trainers, and lightnings are her illuminators. When a calm reigns on the sea, spread the sails as you will, the ship moves not to its harbour; for on a slumbering ocean the keel sleeps too. Let the winds rush howling forth, and let the waters lift up themselves, then, though the vessel may rock, and her deck may be washed with waves, and her mast may creak under the pressure of the full and swelling sail, it is then that she makes headway towards her desired haven. No flowers wear so lovely a blue as those which grow at the foot of the frozen glacier; no stars gleam so brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky; no water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand; and no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs in adversity. Tried faith brings experience. You could not have believed your own weakness had you not been compelled to pass through the rivers; and you would never have known God’s strength had you not been supported amid the water-floods. Faith increases in solidity, assurance, and intensity, the more it is exercised with tribulation. Faith is precious, and its trial is precious too.

Let not this, however, discourage those who are young in faith. You will have trials enough without seeking them: the full portion will be measured out to you in due season. Meanwhile, if you cannot yet claim the result of long experience, thank God for what grace you have; praise him for that degree of holy confidence whereunto you have attained: walk according to that rule, and you shall yet have more and more of the blessing of God, till your faith shall remove mountains and conquer impossibilities.