As promised, here's the other part of my testimony. This story just needs to be documented, because God has seriously worked an incredible miracle in my life. Let me just say this to all the single ladies out there: the only reason I am married is because God intervened and worked a miracle in my life - nothing more, nothing less.
I met Aaron when i was 16. The first time i laid my eyes on him, i was like: "oh, oh. I think I can really like this guy". By the time I was 19, I had him. We were in a whirlwind of a relationship. All we knew was eachother. It was typical love-sick teenage stuff. It was frought with all the dysfunctions that you'd find in one: obsessiveness and drama. It wasn't sustainable, so we broke-up by the time we turned 20 (to think that I was ever that young!)
For the next 9 years, as was written in my previous testimony, I found God again and started my journey with him as a single woman. During that time, I was approached a few times by guys who expressed interest. But pretty much all of those guys would start off strong but then their interest would quickly wane after a short period of time. After the 7th time I was convinced that there was something wrong with me (i'm not exaggerating - it happened 7 times). Soon enough, all my friends started to get married off. The pattern of initial interest and then eventual state of not being interested kept on going until I found myself still single by the age of 28. I don't think 28 is old by any means to be single, but to have experienced repeated rejection and disappointment was enough for me to really question myself and whether or not marriage would ever be in the cards for me. Meanwhile, my desire to be married and to move forward with my life was just growing with each passing year. I really felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I remember some people, with the best of intentions, told me the reason why I was still single was because I wasn't mysterious enough, or that I was too this way or too that way. It basically confirmed the fear in me that I just wasn't loveable.
Somewhere in between that time as well, I lost my father very suddenly to complications due to kidney disease. The intense grief of losing my dad who I loved so much coupled with extreme lonliness (not to mention repeated rejection and disappointment) marked those years of my life as some of the hardest ever. It however, plummetted me deeper into my relationship with God. I felt like my intimacy with God sky-rocketed. I was dealing with grief and utter confusion as to why my circumstances just weren't changing. I cried out to God all the time, but eventually I just came to a place of complete surrender and trust. I remember worshipping him many a nights alone in my room, just me and my guitar with tears streaming down my face. God was going to have to be my father and my husband.
Then one day Aaron came to church. I would see him around here and there and our paths would cross often, although his life had gone in a totally different direction than mine. Over the years, I saw him change from innocent and boyish to someone who seemed so worldly and jaded. I couldn't recognize the old Aaron I loved and cared for. However, this one day when I saw him at church he seemed incredibly sad. I approached him and asked how he was doing. He told me his mother was dying of cancer and his eyes quickly welled up with tears. Over the next week, I accompanied him to the hospital to see his mother.
We seemed to reconnect very quickly as I understood all too well what he was going through and Aaron I'm sure found comfort in being with someone who had already gone through what he was about to. Seeing his mother in the hospital will forever be one my most precious memories I will ever have. I prayed for her and I remember how loving she was towards me. She remembered who I was right away, even though I had not seen her in 8+ years. Then one incredibly sad evening she went to be with the Lord. Aaron and I miss her so much.
Immediately after her death, Aaron changed. Something lifted off of him as he rededicated his life to Christ. His countenance all of a sudden became softer and more gentle. The old Aaron that I once knew was being regenerated. We continued to find comfort in eachother's company after the passing of his mom and it felt so natural for us to recommit ourselves in a relationship again. And so we did. Unbeknownst to me, one of aaron mother's last wishes was to to see us back together. What a confirmation.
Our dating relationship for the next 2 years was wonderful. I felt myself being healed and restored and validated and appreciated for the person I was. All the rejection and disappointment I experienced over the past 9 years was being washed away by Aaron's unconditional love and acceptance of me. He really just appreciated all sides of me! Even my weird, nutty, zany side! But this time our relationship was God-centered and God-honouring.
Then one wonderful winter evening in 2003, the year I turned 30, sitting in the car, Aaron handed me a card. I remember feeling cold, cranky and hungry at the time, actually. I read the card and written was just a beautiful expression of how much Aaron loved and appreciated me. At the end was written: "Will you marry me?". I looked up at Aaron, he pulled out a box with a diamond ring in it. With tears in his eyes and voice-shaking he asked me to marry him. We just cried and hugged eachother in the car that cold, winter evening.
Our wedding was so beautiful. We laughed, we cried, we danced. But most of all we celebrated! We celebrated God's faithfulness and love. It was the most memorable day of my life.
And now here I am 5 years later, happily married, and thankful everyday that I married Aaron and no one else. God preserved me for him and him for me! Left to my own devices, I shutter to think what it would be like without the hand of God having intervened in my life. He is faithful!
And now facing another excruciatingly difficult season in my life, I just know and believe that He will once again deliver me and create another incredible testimony and miracle in my life. Because I know that out of suffering will come joy! Those who sow in tears will reap songs of joy! So, I'll wait. But in the meantime, my heart can't contain how wonderful that day will be. Once this journey is all said and done, I will surely have a another tesimony to write and it will be Part 3!
Psalm 126
3 The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.
4 Restore our fortunes, [c] O LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
5 Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.
This is so beautifully written, Anna. I can't wait for part three! :)
Posted by: Alisa Kim | 09/26/2009 at 06:05 PM